Below are some examples of questions/topics that are appropriate to discuss with a birth mother:

1. How are you feeling?
2. What helped you to choose adoption?
3. Is there anything in particular that led you to choose our family? Did we have similar hobbies or interests?
4. What are your some of your hobbies/interests? Favorites?
5. Would you like to know more about what we like to do? Our family?
6. Is there anything we can do to help make this process more comfortable for you?
7. Is there anything else we can tell you about us to make you more comfortable?
8. Explain how you will tell the child about her and the adoption. Ask if there is anything she wants to share for you to tell the child.
9. Reassure her about future contact such as pictures and letters.
10. Tell her how much this means to you and tell her how honored you feel that she has chosen you to become parents. Thank her.
11. Tell her about your recent vacation, family outing, typical weekends etc.
12. If she has other children or family members who are a positive in her life, ask about them.
13. If the birth father is involved, it will be important to include him and ask him questions also.


Below are some examples of questions that are not appropriate to ask a birth mother:

1. Have you been making it to all your doctor appointments?
2. Have you been checked for Sexually transmitted diseases (STD's)?
3. Do you have HIV or AIDS?
4. Do you do any drugs?
5. In-depth questions concerning medical disorders.
6. Detailed questions concerning the birth father.